Natural vs. Conventional Breast Cancer Treatment Pathways

An unlikely hero has emerged in the earliest stages of my breast cancer journey. The serendipitous moment she called and spent an hour sharing her wisdom and guidance whilst I sat on a park bench outside a hospital, is truly something I will never forget.

The two women who created the opportunity for this connection to happen are also very important and influential in my past, present and future, to me and in regard to this topic.

It is the reason this week's update will take the form of a letter, of gratitude and thanks.

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Dear Angel, Matriarch, Sage, Spirit of Nurturing Energy, Giver of Wisdom & Hope,

I've truthfully been reluctant to share with you the latest update of where I am on this breast cancer journey and what I and my family have decided to do for treatment.

All the advice you shared with me, all the insights from your own experience, I aspire to. But whilst I am sure now that I'm on the right path, I'm sad it does not align to yours.

Like you, I only came to my 'wellness' awaking later in life. I grew up (close-by to where you did in Australia) thinking fairy bread and Weetbix were great nutrition as I matured.

The added impact of tension at home, the never satiated desire to prove my worth and lack of understanding of the mind influence on the body, was all a far cry from wellness.

That being said, when I had my ah-ha moment where people started explaining the wisdom of nature and the way we've commercialised health, it wasn't hard to embrace.

However,

Despite me agreeing with you that the conventional medicine pathway that has been laid out before me is a destructive one, despite me agreeing that chemotherapy and surgery and powerful drugs are not getting to the root cause of the dis-ease and even though I hear you say to me that my body has the tools and skills to heal this..

I have made the decision to trust the treatment the specialists have said I need.

Not all of it and most importantly not as something I will do without doing everything else more 'natural' as well, but as a focus because I'm betting on my odds to survive.

Trust me when I say I pushed hard. Anyone who knows me reading this blog will know how formidable I can be and anyone who doesn't can read about my journey from conventional to natural during pregnancy and childbirth to get the gist.

The silver bullet was when I asked 'Please give me 3 months to go away and reverse this imbalance in my body' and the kind and emphatic young Doctor responded..

"If you had other types of cancer, we would say yes.. there are others that have succeed in taking this approach. But the type of cancer you have has a high chance of being cured with this medicine when only recently your diagnosis would have been a death sentence. Right now, this is curable but if you walk away in even a month you risk it not being so (and the final phrase for deep impact) - we hope you do not ask to take this approach."

Radiant woman, loving woman, gentle woman,

You told me to trust that I WILL find my way. You told me that things will work out whatever I choose. You told me to trust my intuition, that the best way will come to me.

But D Day is here. Even though we borrowed 2 weeks from the unfathomable reality of the conventional treatment pathway to squeeze in an IVF cycle - this single and only opportunity to preserve a new life for our future, it all must start on the 5th of March.

They will inject me with what I'm affectionally calling a 'chemical cocktail' of the best and worst kind of chemotherapy drugs designed to destroy and save my human form.

It will be a very long 6 months of exhaustion, hair loss and sickness alongside a serious regime of fertility preservation and health replenishment therapies designed to give my body the best chance of surviving, not going into menopause and most importantly, being able to come out the other end cancer free and able to conceive and raise a baby.

I am under no illusions as to how tough this next phase will be.

BUT, I also see the opportunity. I see the chance for me to actualise everything in life that I've ever wanted because of the very real threat to my mortality it presents.

My approach is not morbid or negative. It's not resolute or depressing. Quite the contrary. I believe that seeing and accepting this reality, is the largest motivator there is.

Would I prefer a treatment approach based more on the innate wisdom of our bodies to respond to and be able to heal an imbalance in health? Of course I would..

Have I sought it out? Yes. Homeopaths. Naturopaths. Chiropractors. Chinese Medicine. Aryuvedic medicine. Hypnotherapy. Meditation. Psychology. Diet and Exercise. Herbs.

You name it, I've done it. But unfortunately I am still here. Staring death in the face.

It was easier during childbirth to put faith in the body's natural ability to know what is right for me and to be less complicated than the 'system' would have you believe.

With cancer, it's really challenging to understand the reason for the self-destruct button.

No single expert has revealed itself to us (in time) in the way that it did for us during our pregnancy journey. Many specialists have offered to support but none have stood in front of us and said 'follow me' the way our midwife did at a time we needed it the most.

And so me/we have made our peace with this path.

It will be 6 months of chemotherapy.

A surgery, mostly likely a mastectomy and quite likely a double mastectomy at that.

Potential removal of lymph nodes and ovaries (although we will keep resisting if we can)

A 50/50 chance of a complete pathological response aka the cancer shrinks/disapears

Then maybe more chemotherapy, probably radiation, depending on how it all goes

And a minimum of 18 months hormone therapy and most importantly recovery

Before we can think about fertility and bringing a new life into the world

All this, banking on my survival (still not a given) and hopefully a resolution to the root cause of the cancer in the first place - something I'll keep trying to resolve and heal.

I picked up a brochure the other day in the hospital. It's something the Cancer Council here in Australia publishes to understand the different treatment pathways on offer.

They detail out Conventional, Complimentary and Integrative treatments as totally different 'paths in the wood'. I appreciate this. It's good to see in writing in such a well known organisation that there are these divides. But it doesn't make it any easier.

Whilst it's great that the progressive cancer-specialised hospital I am at offers these complimentary therapies they are far from integrated and they are far from being able to be discussed without the obligatory eye roll from conventional medical specialists.

The fact of the matter is, my 2 year old boy Archie is the light of my life. His smile and his laughter and even the moments where he has a tantrum because the banana broke when I was peeling it for him, are what I live for and he is my most important priority.

I am obsessed with making sure that he has a mother growing up. Ideally, a healthy one.

If it was just about me or even just about me and my marriage, my risk appetite would be much bigger and I'd be militant with the natural vs. conventional treatment options.

But it's not and the fact that I've done all the research I can within the time that I have, coupled with the reality that another path has not emerged, means I am where I am.

I'm sure that I will make this path my own. That I'll emerge and thrive, not just survive.

Confidence has never been my biggest problem, overthinking my choices certainly has.

It's not how I would have chosen it to be and perhaps it will still change, but for now I need to rest and trust that this combined conventional and complimentary path is right.

I will take the drugs, but I will also commit to the radical diet, fasting and exercise.

I will consent to the needles, but I will believe in meridian lines and unblocking energy.

I will trust the specialists, but damn right I'll take those medicinal mushrooms when they're offered to me so that I can release years of repressed toxic emotional energy.

That being said. I might draw the line at putting coffee up my butt. There's a lot I'll do to embrace and hopefully teach (in the future) about the power of looking to nature for answers to life's questions, but coffee enemas are probably where I draw the line.

One thing you said to me on our call is that breast issues arise from a lack of nurturing. Perhaps from a mother, or lack of it around us at our place of work or with our friends and community or even a lack of nurturing ourselves during motherhood or in general.

I can see with me, how perhaps all would apply.

I don't say that from a place of 'oh feel sorry for me, how miserable is my life' but from a feeling of wanting to acknowledge and respect what needs to be nourished in my life.

I thank you for opening my eyes to this, for sharing your experience and being a rare totem of bravery and resilience amongst this sea of misery, submission and weakness.

The world is exponentially better for having you in it.

With all the love I have to give at this point right here,

Emma.